Father's Day 2020 is certainly unique!
And it's the first Father's Day for me without my father!
I always sent my Dad some jokes on Father's Day in an email since he didn't want a card.
Here are some I sent him over the years:
Q: What did baby corn say to mama corn? A: Where's popcorn?
Q: What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?
A: a POPsicle!
Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry? A: Because his dad was in a jam!
Q: What did the daddy tomato say to the baby tomato? A: catch up!
Q: Why are Fathers like parking spaces? A: The good ones are already taken!
Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!
Q: What did daddy spider say to baby spider? A: You spend too much
time on the web.
Father: Let me see your report card. Son: I don't have it. Father:
Why not? Son: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his
parents.
"Dad, are bugs good to eat?" asked the boy. "Let's not talk about
such things at the dinner table, son," his father replied. After
dinner the father inquired, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?"
"Oh, nothing," the boy said. "There was a bug in your soup, but now
it's gone."
And this one in honor of my Dad trying to saw me in half on a movie:
Jake: What does your father do for a living? Matt: He's a magician.
He performs tricks, like sawing people in half. Jake: Do you have any
brothers or sisters? Matt: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.
Fun Puns!
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
seasoned veteran.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can
stop any time.
How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it
dawned on me.
The girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,
but I never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on
words.
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type O.
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
Energizer Bunny arrested: Charged with battery.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A
thesaurus.
What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four
seconds.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit
me!
Broken pencils are pointless.
Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Ever Thought About This!
Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage.
Why do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight..
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
